#10: The start of something even bigger
“Queer people don’t grow up as ourselves. We grow up playing a version of ourselves which sacrifices authenticity to minimise humiliation and prejudice. The massive task of our adult lives is to unpick which parts of ourselves are truly “us”, and which parts we’ve created to protect ourselves.”
Project update
I’ve created a revised elevator pitch and it’s over here! I know this might seem like small fry to a modern audience who are used to AAA announcements about games, but that’s a big deal for me. It’s the distilled essence of where I’m at in the narrative development of my story, and is emblematic of what I plan to thematically and (moodily?) deliver on, as a game… At the moment, anyway.
I’ve been spending every spare moment writing on my own story (I think I just edged over 10,000 words between Friday and Sunday!) and I am honestly thriving, but I just want more time in each day to do everything that feels important to do.
With the period of time dedicated to my 1st grant finished, you might think that it’s time to start the application for the 2nd one. The reality is, I started it at the same time as I started the 1st one. “How does that work?” you might well wonder. For starters, if you believe you’ve done good work in the past, it tends to be a good idea to reuse whatever parts of that work continue to be valuable in the future, while iterating and improving them for the new circumstances. Whilst I didn’t know that my 1st application would be approved and paid, I felt like I had made a compelling case for the game, and on that basis, I started pre-filling anything that I could for the 2nd application, due in June/July. More than anything, this is simply a good way of making sure that I don’t fail to follow through with any important elements that I might otherwise forget.
At this moment in time, my expectation for the 2nd grant is that I would use any grant money I applied for in pursuit of building a game prototype. Obviously, grant money from public coffers cannot be taken for granted or assumed to be coming in the future, so my planning and execution of a larger grant needs to be meticulously well put-together. In my opinion, that means looking at it many, many times over a longer period. Why? Because most writing gets better with more revisions, and the more time you give yourself to revise, the more opportunities you afford yourself to cut out the poorly performing parts. Some of the actual specifics will be:
Obviously the application itself (addressing the grant selection criteria)
A video presentation with accompanying slide deck.
A budget with quotes for any relevant art, music, hardware, software, consulting, training.
A project plan not just for grant #2 but how it fits into my 5-part plan for the game overall (with the 1st draft of the story being stage 1)
Evidence of planning for grant #2 (eg what prep work have I already done [“I already completed a grant to write a story!” for example!] and why am I the right person to execute this, including how do I demonstrate that proficiency?)
So, what now? Well, now I set about the process of actually substantiating what I plan to do with further grant money, by way of documenting all of the separate parts of the process that cost money. That means breaking the “build a prototype” project into smaller parts, and then even smaller parts, and putting a defensible price tag on every part. Between now and the end of June is going to be busy.
Personal reflections - Mardi Gras!
It was Mardi Gras in Sydney over the weekend! I’ve been too broke, disorganised and busy to go with everything else happening in life, but I watched some of the parade over the ‘net, and it’s filled me with joy for several days now. I actually… don’t have too much to say on it other than “this makes me really happy” and “I wish I had been in Sydney or Melbourne for it”, but I just wanted to take the opportunity to note that it’s Pride season globally, and while I wasn’t in attendance, I take some solace from the fact the reason I’m not out partying it up is because I’m doing my own type of advocacy - working to increase trans representation in media by making a videogame about my life. That is more than enough for me, right now.
Games I played
I did it again folks - I just worked through, and didn’t play any games. Failure! If anyone has suggestions for how to be less of a workaholic and spend more time just… chilling out, I’d be grateful to get them. The problem is not games - My list of things to play is a mile long, I just can’t seem to carve out time for them with official study, unofficial study, my grant work, exercising properly and getting enough sleep. I’m glad to not be compromising those things, but I just wish I had more time in the day.
