#1: The start of something big (I hope)
Welcome, everyone! It's the end of 2023 and I'm hosting my own website for the first time. I feel a little bit like I'm about to take the first step on a very long road. You've felt like that before, too, so I know that you understand the feeling: There's a long road ahead and you can't be sure what it will be like, if your map will take you in the right direction, or if the weather will hold. You already know that there will be days where you wish you'd stayed at home, safe and warm, surrounded by the friends and family that have protected and moulded you before this moment. There will be days that you forget everything in the middle of making new memories, surrounded by new friends and chosen family. There will be days when your footing will falter, your tools will break right when you need them the most, and the only thing that you'll have left is your bare hands and willpower. Knowing all of that, there is still only one thing to do - take a deep breath, try to stop that lip quivering, and step out the door and down the road.
Let's talk about why I'm heading out on this new adventure, and what it is.
Why have I made a website?
I've made a website because I will be starting creative development on my own original videogame in January 2024, and I want to share the development journey with you, right from the beginning, through to the end.
What is your videogame?
My videogame is called The Vessel of Argeus, and it’s a fantasy game about being trans. With that said, it’s a set of short allegorical fairytale adventures and anyone who enjoys a good story will find something for them in it.
Why make a game about being trans?
Because globally, it’s a fearful time for transgender people, and in large parts of the world, being trans is the biggest vector for physical danger that you can have. That’s a problem that can be partially improved by increasing understanding of trans people and representing them in all forms of media. My experience of coming out as trans has been that as a human being, I do not understand fear on an intellectual level. To describe fear with words is like describing falling as the opposite of jumping; the description is an imprecise illustration of something which requires the use of all senses simultaneously to really ‘get it’. Shakespearean prose isn’t enough to capture what it means to be afraid of another human being, to experience alienation and suspicion that will make your brain fire white noise on all five senses. When someone tells you they are falling, and you imagine it to be like jumping, know that you are missing something.
As human beings, communicating who we are to one another is, and has always been, key to living peacefully in a group. Communication helps us to humanise ourselves, one another, and it helps to reduce our otherness amongst ourselves. Notwithstanding scale, the information age has made the earth one big group, no longer separated by language, distance or culture. A consequence of that is the increasingly vital importance to put your hand up and declare “I exist”. This game will be a declaration that I exist, we exist, and that everyone can delight in our stories.
Nobody should be afraid of their fellow human beings, and no matter how small, I want to be a part of improving the global outlook for fellow transgender people.
What’s coming in January?
So many things! I return to work on the 3rd, and January marks the start of my preparation for the first draft of the script for The Vessel of Argeus. That will be right at the end of the month, and will go through to the beginning of March, but I am tremendously excited! I will be assisted by Ylaria Rogers, founder of Heart Strings Theatre Company in Canberra.
I’m also going to create a whole game (not this one, but as part of a challenge!) in just 7 days! I haven’t decided when yet, but it will be a major challenge that I’m looking forward to.
I will try to set up a home page for my game on Steam, and if I manage that, I will share it with you.
I’ll be continuing planning ahead for Stage 2 of The Vessel of Argeus, which is the construction of a prototype. I will be applying for local government grant funding for this stage of work, and my application to start work on it in 2025 is due in July. That means there’s a lot of planning and evidence-gathering that needs to take place over the next few months, so being on the front foot is vital.
If you’ve read this far on my first post, thank you for your attention, please get in touch with me however you like, sign up to hear more from me in the future, and I wish every last one of you a most splendid end to 2023!
